So, Halloween is near and all the ghosts, goblins, and hoodrat mamas will be coming out to play, homitos. The ranas will be in abundance and they will be ripe for the picking camaradas. So, be on your toes and step up your game because you may only get one crack at picking up on your future baby's mama. Sabes como te digo? The wolves will be out on the prowl just waiting to catch you slippin' homeboy. Turn and look the other way, and bam some other vato just snatched up the hina you were trying to get at.
Formulate your game plan with the homies beforehand and figure out which one of you vatos is going to take one for the team. The ranas are going to be in packs of at least three, and please believe that one of them will be shot out, and she's always the key. If the linebacker doesn't get any action from one of your homies then none of you sad vatos will be getting any. And costume is everything ese, so don't be a tapado and try to be cute by dressing up as chicken little. The last thing you want is every hina in the joint laughing at you because the tights are rising up your crack. Por favor! And for the ladies, do all mankind a favor and don't try to squeeze your nalgas into your little sister's costume. Have some self-respect por favor. Some rucas can do the playboy bunny or French maid thing, and well, others just got to stick with the purple grapes costume. Don't take it personal mijas, it's only business.
What do we have this month in the Sancho box?
Annette from Los Angeles writes:Dear Sancho, I take most everything you write in jest, because of the nature of the content. Basically, you encourage men and women to engage in the jaded mentality of "playing games." Your advice must not render satisfactory results, as there is not much mail coming your way thanking you for your "player tactics."
Why don't you use this forum as a means to encourage men and women alike to discard all of the mind games, and/or dating rules, and do whatever makes them happy? If that means calling a woman one day after a date, if said date goes really well, then so be it. As a woman, I would be delighted to take the call. Perhaps I'm not in the majority, but then again quality women who don't engage in "games" while dating, are scarce.
Sancho: Thank you for the long-winded letter chiquita. Now, let me catch my breath: OK Annette, mija, rule Number One, don't hate the player girl, hate the game. What you propose does exist in a world of fairies, wizards, and princesses with glass slippers whose carriages turn into pumpkins at midnight. But, unfortunately Disney owns that world, so we got to deal with reality pestosa. Now get a grip of yourself chiquita, put on your best dress, and go to the corner bar, get sauced, get lucky, and you'll be a happy camper in the morning.
Juan from New Mexico writes:Sancho, since Halloween is coming up my lady wants us to dress up in costumes that match as a couple when we go to the parties. I didn't read anything in the Sancho Nation handbook about dressing up as a couple. What is our position on that?
Sancho: Homito, you bring up a very good point. I must create an addendum to the handbook. I can tell that you are not a tapado and will go very far within the Nation. To answer your question pollito, the Nation's position is simple. Going as a matching couple could work in your favor, pestoso, since ranas always want someone else's man. I think it would be fine as long as you don't pick some kind of fruit-cake costume and bring shame to the Nation. I think you should go as a pimp and your lady a hoe. That is a safe bet, just in case you got to bust the old 52 fake on your hina to go be the maniaco that you are.
Until next time camaradas, get at me with the chisme, ogsanchito@gmail.com.